>> Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Who Am I is a question at the forefront of my mind lately.....
There are seasons where I am confident who I am in Jesus Christ, I am assured in His love, I am covered in His forgiveness and I am strengthened in His Joy. Then a trial comes, some trials come and go much faster than others. My little world has not been turned upside down, but certainly turned inside out. I am struggling to know who I am, what or who should I be when I grow up, and who is this woman called wife, mother, and friend? So many expectations and responsibilities come with the roles of titles.
AS God is forever changing us, we change but sometimes the expectations from others do not. Well these two don’t blend nicely "change and expectations." Who I was 20 years ago when I first got married is not who I am today, sorry hubby. Who I was when I was rearing up toddlers, is not who I am today, sorry kiddos. Who I have befriended along the way, I may have been a part of your life in a certain way then, but I am not that same friend anymore, sorry friend. We cannot keep up with expectations that life will always be the same. I for one was that person that took refuge in “sameness” “comfort” and the predicable. One thing is for sure…Nothing stays the same, except our salvation.
AS we are being molded, bended, processed and turned inside out and upside down for God, I can only pray that we are being transformed for His glory with joy and not bitterness. The fact that the way I once thought a year ago, I do not think today. The way I was 6 months ago, has all gone away. God prunes and grafts. He is the potter, I just the clay.
Seasons are interesting they can be bright, sunny, warm and toasty and all of a sudden …comes the storm and then the aftermath of that storm, and with that is a mass mess and a cleanup needed, and what was once there is no longer the same but made different.
All I know is, who I thought I was I am not, and where I am going I know not, and when will I get there is a mystery. Life is deep very deep and if we allow God the right to show us, we will forever be changed.
Circumstances change us, people change us, issues, opportunities, and trials seem to change us. However only God has control over our hearts.
Who am I, I am not sure…Do you know who I am? I would assume only those willing to walk life out with me will really come to know me as I walk it out with God and come to know and learn myself.
One thing I am sure of, I believe that Jesus Christ is Lord of my life and I will be who He has created me to be, it just takes a lifetime to get there, so I am learning me as others are.
My desire is to stay focused, seeking Jesus, hearing his voice, responding in obedience and watching the transformation take place. Who am I? I am a child of the most High God, a daughter of the King, a servant, friend, and bride to Jesus. Everyone and everything else must find its place with me under those conditions. When we are intentional to seek, hear, and obey we will surely disappoint people in our lives because we then are not available or able to meet their needs the way they desired us to meet them and likewise with them as well.
I am learning to stay connected with God despite the temptation to sympathize with others and how they feel. Discernment helps us to see things the way they are and to stay Jesus focused for the welfare of our individual lives.
It may not be the popular thing, or the logical, but Jesus centered is always the right thing.
Does anyone think they know who I am? Do I really know who anyone is? In order to find ourselves we must first have been found by Jesus. There is a work internally that no one can see or recognize until God allows it to glow and flow externally. Don’t get comfortable even in that work, as another is coming and soon that new work becomes old and the process repeats itself as we are forever finding and loosing ourselves in Jesus.
I am sorry if I have disappointed you...I am focused on one person...I am sorry that one is not you...it is Jesus...I hope you find that pleasing and appropriate.
~my mind's ramblings today...solving world problems!